Served With a Restraining Order in California: What to Do First

Someone handed you a stack of court papers, and now there’s a restraining order against you. This is scary and it feels unfair, especially if you’ve heard only one side. Here is what to do, starting right now.

First, the hard truth that protects you: if a temporary order was granted, it is already in effect. You do not have to agree with it, sign it, or think it’s fair. The moment it was handed to you, it became a court order you must obey. Breaking it is a crime, even if the other person contacts you first.

Before anything else: check whether the order is actually in effect

Do not assume. Read the papers. When someone asks the court for a restraining order, the judge makes a quick first decision, and it goes one of two ways:

• Temporary order GRANTED. The papers include a signed temporary restraining order with boxes checked showing what you must do and not do. Those rules are in effect right now. Follow the first-48-hours steps below.
• Temporary order DENIED until the hearing. Sometimes the judge says no to the temporary order but still sets a hearing. The papers will say the request was denied until the court hears both sides. If that’s your situation, the restrictions are not in effect yet, but the case is very real: there is still a hearing, and the judge can still issue a long-term order there.

Either way, read every checked box carefully so you know exactly which rules, if any, apply to you today. And even if the temporary order was denied, the smart move is to stay away and stay quiet anyway. Contacting the other person before the hearing rarely helps you and often becomes evidence against you.

If the order is in effect: do these things in the first 48 hours

• Stop all contact. No calls, texts, emails, DMs, or messages through friends or family. None. Even a “can we talk about this?” text can get you arrested.
• Read the whole order. Find out how far you must stay away, where you can’t go, and whether you have to move out.
• Find the hearing date. It’s printed on the papers. That date is your one chance to tell your side. Mark it.
• Deal with any guns right away. If you own firearms, you must turn them in fast (see the warning below). This is the step people mess up most.
• Start saving evidence. Texts, emails, photos, names of witnesses, anything that shows what really happened. Don’t delete anything.

What kind of order is this?

There are four common types in California. They work in similar ways but come from different situations:

• Domestic violence order (DVRO). Between people with a close relationship: a spouse or ex, a partner or ex, someone you dated, someone you live with, or the parent of your child. The most common and the most powerful.
• Civil harassment order. Between people who are not close like that: neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances, or strangers.
• Elder or dependent adult abuse order. To protect someone 65 or older, or a dependent adult.
• Workplace violence order. Filed by an employer to protect an employee.

Read more: how the four types differ

Domestic violence (Family Code 6200 and following). Requires a qualifying relationship. “Abuse” is defined very broadly here, not just physical violence but also threats, stalking, harassment, and even “disturbing the peace” or controlling behavior. Handled in family court and entered into the statewide law-enforcement system.

Civil harassment (Code of Civil Procedure 527.6). No relationship required. The other side has to show unlawful violence, a believable threat of violence, or a knowing course of conduct that seriously alarmed them and served no real purpose.

Elder or dependent adult abuse (Welfare and Institutions Code 15657.03). Protects people 65 or older, or dependent adults. The banned conduct looks like the other statutes and can also include court-ordered counseling.

Workplace violence (Code of Civil Procedure 527.8). The employer, not the person, files it, on behalf of an employee who faced violence or a real threat at work. You might have no prior relationship with that employee at all.

What the order stops you from doing

Depending on what’s checked on your papers, the order can require you to:

• Stay a set distance away (often 100 yards) from the person, their home, job, car, and their kids’ school.
• Have no contact at all, direct or indirect, including social media and messages passed through other people.
• Move out of a shared home, even one you own or pay for.
• Give up your guns and ammunition.
• Stay away from a pet, and in some cases take counseling.

The two stages: temporary order, then the hearing

What you were served is almost always a temporary order (a “TRO”). A judge signed it based only on what the other side wrote, without hearing from you. It’s temporary on purpose: it holds things in place until a real hearing where you finally get to speak.

That hearing is usually within about three weeks. At the hearing, the judge decides whether to end the order or replace it with a longer one (a domestic violence order after a hearing can last up to five years). Show up. If you don’t, the judge can grant the long order without ever hearing your side.

One more right you should know about: you are entitled to one postponement (a “continuance”) as a matter of right. If you are not prepared, or you are still looking for an attorney, ask the judge to continue the hearing. Judges grant that first request routinely, and it is far better to ask for time than to walk into your one hearing unready. Know this before you go in, because the temporary order stays in effect while you wait.

Read more: timing, the response forms for each order type, and who has to prove what

Timing. A temporary order is issued the same day or next court day the other side files. The hearing must be set within 21 days (25 with good cause). The temporary order stays in force until that hearing, and through any delay.

Your continuance rights, in detail. You get one continuance as a matter of right, meaning the judge must grant your first request. Use it if you need time to gather evidence, line up witnesses, or hire a lawyer. Beyond that first one, continuances are up to the judge, so don’t burn your as-of-right request casually. Remember the trade-off: the temporary order (if granted) stays fully in effect during any delay, so a continuance buys you preparation time but extends the restrictions too.

The response form depends on which order you were served with. Each type has its own Judicial Council response form, and using the right one matters:

• Domestic violence (DVRO): form DV-120 (Response to Request for Domestic Violence Restraining Order)
• Civil harassment: form CH-120 (Response to Request for Civil Harassment Restraining Orders)
• Elder or dependent adult abuse: form EA-120 (Response to Request for Elder or Dependent Adult Abuse Restraining Orders)
• Workplace violence: form WV-120 (Response to Petition for Workplace Violence Restraining Orders)

There’s no strict deadline to file the response before the hearing, but earlier is always better. File it and serve it as soon as you can so the judge sees your side in writing before you ever open your mouth.

Who has to prove what, and it differs by order type. The burden is always on the person asking for the order, never on you to prove your innocence. But the level of proof they must reach is different depending on the order:

• Domestic violence (DVRO): preponderance of the evidence, meaning “more likely than not.” The lowest bar.
• Civil harassment: clear and convincing evidence, a substantially higher bar. The judge must find it highly probable that the harassment occurred.
• Workplace violence: clear and convincing evidence as well.
• Elder or dependent adult abuse: preponderance of the evidence.

This matters for your strategy. In a civil harassment case, showing the evidence is thin or ambiguous can be enough, because the petitioner has a high bar to clear. In a DVRO case, the bar is lower, so your own credible, organized presentation carries more of the load. Either way, you have the right to testify, present documents, and question their witnesses.

How to be credible in court (it matters as much as your evidence)

Judges take these orders very seriously, and they decide them quickly, often after hearing from each side for just a few minutes. In that short window, how you look and how you carry yourself weigh almost as much as what you say. You need to look and act credible to be credible.

• Look your best. A suit is best. If you don’t own one, business casual is far better than nothing. Clean, pressed, and simple beats flashy.
• Never be late. Plan to be early. Courthouse security lines are slow, and walking in after your case is called can sink you before you say a word.
• Wait your turn to speak. This is the hard one. You will hear things said about you that feel wrong or unfair, and every instinct will tell you to respond immediately. Don’t. Interrupting makes you look exactly like the person the other side is describing. Waiting calmly makes you look like someone in control, and someone in control is someone the judge believes.
• Keep your emotions in check. It is hard not to be emotional, this is your life on the table, but do your best. Acting on emotion makes you react poorly in the moment and present poorly to the judge. Calm is not weakness in a courtroom. Calm is what credibility looks like.
• Be respectful to everyone, especially court staff. Clerks, bailiffs, and attendants talk to the judge. Be polite and follow their directions even if they’re rude to you or something feels unfair. Arguing with staff is a fast way to lose credibility before the hearing even starts.
• Speak to the judge, not at the other side. Answer the judge’s questions directly, call the judge “Your Honor,” and keep your tone even. How you speak matters just as much as the content of your response.

These orders can affect your life for years, where you live, your gun rights, your custody arrangement. Take the hearing as seriously as the judge does.

What happens if you break the order

This is why the “don’t respond to their contact” rule matters so much. One reply can turn a civil court paper into a criminal case.

What we see in real cases

• The hearing is the whole ballgame. People who skip it, or show up with nothing, usually end up with a long-term order.
• Organized evidence wins. Screenshots with dates, saved messages, and named witnesses beat “he said, she said.”
• Credibility is the quiet tiebreaker. In a short hearing, the calm, prepared, respectful person usually reads as the truthful one.
• A long-term order can quietly reshape your life: where you live, your gun rights, and, in family cases, custody and visitation.

Do you need a lawyer for this?

You don’t need a lawyer for these hearings, and plenty of people handle them alone. But if you hire one, it genuinely helps, with one big caveat: get someone who actually knows what they’re doing in the county where your case is, because they know how that county’s courts work, which judges want what, and how the local calendar really runs. A great lawyer from the wrong county is worth less than a good one from the right one.

A lawyer earns their fee most in these situations: it’s a domestic violence order, it touches your home, your children, or your guns, or the same allegations could turn into criminal charges. The hearing moves fast, it may be your only shot, and the results last for years.

Whatever you decide, obey the order to the letter in the meantime, and never contact the protected person, even if they reach out to you.

This is general information, not legal advice. Talk to a California attorney about your situation.